Robin Hood CEO to release children’s book featuring Sheriff of Nottingham as main protagonist

WALLSTREET—The CEO of the app Robin Hood announced Sunday that he will soon be releasing a children’s book featuring the Sheriff of Nottingham as the main protagonist. The book will also include Prince John as a side character, who is actively worried about the economy of Nottingham.

Robin Hood, the main antagonist, has upset the status quo after slightly inconveniencing the royal family by stealing an inconceivably small amount of gold from them. Although the theft didn’t cause any noticeable difference in their quarterly gains, it was discovered during a monthly assessment of property when the Sheriff noticed that the low class were able to eat and provide for their families—which is, needless to say, completely unacceptable.

“I wanted to give a new spin on an old, outdated story,” said CEO Wes Moore. “The old story has no place in modern times. This new story accurately portrays the new world and gives children a good understanding of how the rest of their lives will pan out, depending on when and where they were born.”

The book will be on shelves Friday, sold exclusively through Gamestop.