Gamestop offers hedge fund CEO part-time gig for $7.50/hr—includes FSA, stock purchase plan

WALLSTREET—Gamestop announced Sunday afternoon that they are conducting interviews for part-time entry-level positions for many of their locations. In a press release, the company states that they’re specifically targeting hedge fund CEOs as candidates, due to their experience with buying goods and selling them at a lesser value.

“It’s a common practice at Gamestop, when there is great demand for used games, to purchase new games in bulk and remove the wrapping and sell it for a reduced price,” says CEO Michael K. Mauler.

During an interview, Mauler also reported that Gamestop employees are masters of creating a balanced budget to meet their expenses.

“Living off of $7.50/hr is a difficult task, and we have employees who work for us for a variety of reasons” he told a reporter. “Most of our employees are primarily focused on paying down their student debt. They join us so they can have some extra income to balance the budget. Similarly, these hedge fund managers need something that only we can provide—stock options for Gamestop. Something of which, they’re currently in short supply.”

Mauler added that many hedge fund CEOs are in a poor financial position due to the current state of the economy, similar to employees of the companies they invest in.

“Here at Gamestop, we’re willing to help our employees start fresh in a bad job market,” he said in a press conference. “We provide many tools to get started. Firstly, we offer a Flexible Spending Account for their health, and they can save up to 10% on Gamestop merchandise.”

He did, however, add that there are employees who work for Gamestop still in poverty.

“If you’re a hedge fund CEO and you’re coming on board, make sure to avoid frivolous spending habits” he told reporters. “Make meals from home, don’t go to Starbucks, make sure to save power by turning off unused lights… that sort of thing.”

On the subject of words of caution, though, Mauler had one word of advice.

“Make sure to research a company before you invest in their stock,” he said. “Contrary to popular belief, a stock purchase is not the same as depositing into your savings account. Stocks can rise and fall in the blink of an eye. No matter what you do, don’t risk your financial security on it.”