July 20, 2024

Big Citia Tribune

The least popular name in news

“Texas surely, absolutely, indisputably, totally prepared for winter this year,” assures Ted Cruz

1 min read
“There’s a solid chance nobody will die,” says Cruz.

TEXAS—Ted Cruz spoke to the press today in reference of last year’s Winter Storm, assuring all Texans that “The power grid has absolutely, definitely, tooootallly been fixed, and probably won’t shut down again, leaving millions of Texans without power… I’m sure.”

“Last year, those who still had electricity gave our power companies hundreds of millions of dollars in unexpected profit,” says Cruz. “These have contributed significantly to my campaign and I’m sure that these companies were responsible enough to invest that money back into the grid. Ideally this won’t happen again… I wouldn’t think.”

When reporters asked about any travel plans he might have, Cruz stated that he is planning another winter vacation in February, but earlier and longer this time.

“If anything catastrophic happens in Texas while I’m out of the country, there’s a good chance I’ll make it back in time to be briefed on the situation,” he said. “Rest assured, if planes are grounded Texas will have my thoughts and prayers from abroad and I’ll be informed on the situation and educated to the matter when I return, after the weather is warmer.”

“And the power is back on,” he added.

Copyright © All rights reserved. | Newsphere by AF themes.