Snow exists, and it’s fucking nuts

NEW YORK—Even though it happens almost every year, snow struck the northeast states on Monday in a rather predictable way and it’s fucking insane, man. For the upper class, this means today is a snow day. No work, all fun. For the working class, it’s the same shit, like every other day. Except this time, they could’ve been playing in the snow if they’d been born richer.

“Dude, holy fuck. Snow exists,” a man skiing down the streets of a New York suburb tells a reporter. “I always forget about snow until I see snow. And when I do, I’m like ‘OOOOHHHHH FUCK, HERE WE GO!'”

“This is really only a big deal because now that Biden is in office, there’s nothing newsworthy going on,” said a 7-11 clerk on a 15 minute break. “If Trump were still in office, the news outlets wouldn’t be nearly as bored. But now, things are slowly going back to normal.”