December 6, 2024

Big Citia Tribune

The least popular name in news

Asshole takes forever to park in middle of apartment complex while blasting loud-ass bass, as fucking always

1 min read

TEXAS—In a local apartment complex, every last fucking resident was forced to stop what they were doing and try to ignore a black Mercedes Benz CLK 350 convertible as the driver took forever to park while listening to his shitty music at full-blast, like he does several times every day.

“Even though we don’t know his name, we all know who he is,” said a resident of the apartment complex. “I work from home because of the pandemic, and every time he gets in his car I have to stop what I’m fucking saying mid-sentence because if my employer or customer heard the trashy music coming through my microphone, I’d be in serious legal trouble.”

Another resident told the press, “If that dude is reading this right now, I want him to know he’s an asshole and I think I speak for everyone in the complex when I say ‘Shut the fuck up, and listen to your goddamn music at a reasonable volume, you piece of shit.'”

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