Intel, in desperate move after Apple breakup, creates new operating system, dubs the software “iOS”

SILICON VALLEY—Intel announced Thursday that they will be creating their own operating system to serve as their primary system for their i3, i5, i7, and i9 series processors. This move was taken after Apple had announced on Monday that new iMacs, Mac Minis and MacBooks will transition to Apple’s own ARM processors.

“This will be a monumental time for Intel,” an Intel spokesperson told a reporter. “Intel has always been the standard for CPU technology and today we’re announcing a new standard of operating systems.”

The spokesperson told the press that this move comes from after a separation from Apple, a company that Intel has no plans to partner with, or even be associated with again.

“We don’t want anyone to even be reminded about Apple products when they see our new software,” the spokesperson said. “We’re a clearly separate entity.”

After the reporter asked for more information or if Intel had decided on a name for the operating system, the spokesperson replied, “We’re calling it Intel Operating System.”

“iOS, for short.”