$1,400 Stimulus One Step Closer to Being Outvoted by Republicans

WASHINGTON—Biden’s $1,400 stimulus package, which includes payments to every American making below $300,000 per year as well as a minimum wage increase to $15/hour, was passed by the House of Representatives and arrived at the Senate floor Wednesday Morning, where it will no doubt be outvoted by Republican Lawmakers.

“Nevermind the fact that Americans are loosing their homes,” said Republican lawmaker Mitch McConnel. “Passing this bill will help people, and that’s just not a part of my moral compass.”

The Senate is expected to vote on the legislation on Friday without any Republican support, because, well, obviously.

“I wish I could give checks to fewer people,” said Republican Senator Susan Collins. “I suppose I should be happy that came down from $300,000, but that still strikes me as too high.”